15-in ur pumkin patch, destroyin ur childhood

[amansgottadowhat]

[Voice/Video Post]

[He is pretty thoroughly covered in pumpkin bits, and seems out of breath] I-It was terrible. There was this huge pumpkin, it had some sort of great big symbol on its front. I don't know where it came from, but . . .

But it carried a blue blanket that seemed to belong to a child! The fiend. It must have gotten to him before I could get to it. [He directs his next line, rather unnecessarily, towards the sky.] My finishing blow was for YOU small, helpless child! [and then, more normally, as he lays the blanket down, almost like a grave] I'm so exhausted, but- I shall lay this down here, in memoriam.

Unless there is someone else that requires my help, I think I need to lay down. [If you strain very, very hard, you can hear a mumbled 'and a shower' before the feed gets cut off.]

[OoC: NO, I DID NOT MAKE A THINLY VEILED REFERENCE TO "IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN," WHY DO YOU ASK?]

Comments

voice;

[horrible-protag.livejournal.com]

Raikov. It's very nice to meet you, too.

You're not from around here, are you? Well, not the City around here. You know. America.

voice;

[hidesinrestroom.livejournal.com]

You are correct.

voice;

[horrible-protag.livejournal.com]

I see. What country and what year do you hail from?

voice;

[hidesinrestroom.livejournal.com]

Mmm, why should I tell you?

voice;

[horrible-protag.livejournal.com]

Just mild curiosity on my part is all, Raikov.

voice;

[hidesinrestroom.livejournal.com]

If you must know, I'm from the Soviet Union.

voice;

[horrible-protag.livejournal.com]

I see. You're from Russia.

voice;

[hidesinrestroom.livejournal.com]

Da.

voice;

[horrible-protag.livejournal.com]

[Damn, the Commies have started to invade! If Raikov starts to hear Hammer speaking to him louder and slightly more slowly, it is not his imagination.] Well! I hope that you have found, our hos-pi-tal-i-ty here to be, to, your, liking!

voice;

[hidesinrestroom.livejournal.com]

... I know English, Captain.

sob, and people wonder why I feel like punching him for half of his tags.

[horrible-protag.livejournal.com]

Of course, of course you do. Just a little American humor, is all. The guys on the force loved it.

Raikov will gladly do it for you? (along with a crotchgrab)

[hidesinrestroom.livejournal.com]

American humor, huh? Got any other jokes?

1/2

[horrible-protag.livejournal.com]

Hammer says nokthnx

[horrible-protag.livejournal.com]

Well, I suppose there's always 'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

Raikov says too bad bb.

[hidesinrestroom.livejournal.com]

Why would a chicken be crossing a road?

No, no. Really, it's okay. Raikov doesn't need to trouble himself with it.

[horrible-protag.livejournal.com]

To get to the other side.

Aww. XD

[hidesinrestroom.livejournal.com]

... Huh?

Nono, it's lovely of you to offer, but he cannot say no forcefully enough.

[horrible-protag.livejournal.com]

It's an American joke.

Too bad. *badtouches*

[hidesinrestroom.livejournal.com]

Well, it sucks.