When you're the best

[Private//Off the Network]

A year. I couldn't bear to deal with it yesterday, remembering I've been here for a year. With all that's happened, with Horrible, and Penny and- and that ticking that never goes away. At least I know what it must be like to be that mouse from the nursery rhyme and the clock. Except my tail wasn't cut off. Not that I have a tail, of course, but- oh just look at what this has done to me, I can't think. I need to get out of here, out of this apartment and out of this City! But, I suppose if I can't leave, I might be able to get some other tail.

Figuratively speaking, of course. I'd like to have sex.

[/Private]

[Voice Post]

Oh, well, love seems to be in the air today, doesn't it? How curious, as usually this weather doesn't seem to inhibit that sort of behavior, especially around this time of yea-

Oh. Oh my, how silly of me. I seem to have forgotten something. This is the twenty-seventh, but I arrived in the City January twenty-sixth! I've already been here an entire year. Perhaps this weather does have something to it, eh?

My friends, I am so grateful for you all, thank you so much for helping me through this hard year. Perhaps some of us could do someo-thing together today?

[/Voice Post]

[OoC: Feel free to have anyone crush on him or whatnot. It's all good. Pretend this was up way earlier. Happy Hammer-versary!]

[Accidental Voice Post]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Ah-hah hah . . . So, Mayor, how was tha- youuuuu aren’t here anymore, are you? Penny? Adoring fans? Smelly guy? Where’d you all go? And how did you bring the auditorium with you?

This place doesn’t look familiar at all. But never fear, good citizens! For I, Captain Hammer, am here to save you all from any danger that you might be in! And then after that’s done, I can go back to the dedication and look at my handsome, heroic self in the form of a rock.

. . . The rock is shaped like me; it’s a statue.

But for now, I’ll stand down from my podium, in order to see each of your individual faces more clearly, so that you may all become closer to me, Captain Hammer.